Who invited the hooker?

Question: If I can't exactly pull off this dress -

Or look like this in this dress -
Am I allowed to get married in Argentina? If so, where can I find a dress that does not require invasive plastic surgery? Also, it would be great if I could try on said dress instead of having it made from scratch since I can't draw you a picture of what I want. I actually need to see and touch it before agreeing to wear it. Also, please don't ask me questions about every detail of my wedding when I enter your store - just direct me to the non-porn star section. Thank you.

Um, ps - I only want that sheer fabric used for the veil, not to display my non-cleavage.


Also - Can I have directions to the nearest papeleria with letterpress invitations?